Nobody likes you?

There’s a kind of loneliness that doesn’t come from being alone. It comes from feeling like nobody likes you, and you don’t know why.

You feel it. The distance. The subtle exclusion. The judgment. The looks. The whispers. The hatred. The shift in energy. Feeling ignored. Not fitting in. Not being included.

You constantly think, why do they hate me? What did I do? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I say the right thing? Why can’t I act normal? Why can’t I look like they want me to look like? Why can’t I fit in? How can I change myself, so that they would like me?

I thought of writing this when I came across a new song yesterday, called “Everybody Supports Women” by Sophia Isella.

🎶”She was nice, and smart, and funny, and got everything she wanted

And she does charity, isn't that the most obnoxious thing you've heard?

Her popularity, she's too pretty for her own good

She's probably self-centered, we hate her and she's nothing

If everybody leaves her, then she had it coming”🎶

There is a biological layer to this.

For a long time, women’s safety and survival were tied to being chosen, accepted, and kept within the group. Consider a cavewoman with little children. Her very survival is dependent on the caveman bringing home the deer for them to eat to survive. What if he likes another cavewoman better? How will she survive? So comparison, competition, and social ranking got wired in. For survival.

So you grow up in that environment where there still is jealousy and criticism and judgement against you. And you start turning it inward. You question yourself. You shrink parts of who you are. You try to become easier to accept, less triggering, less noticeable. You feel the hatred. And you turn it on yourself.

Rejection can feel like something deeper is at risk. Belonging. Safety. Worth. That’s why it hurts so much.

You don’t solve this by becoming smaller. You solve it by no longer abandoning yourself just to be accepted. If this is something you’ve lived through, this is exactly the kind of pattern I help women understand and heal. Let me help you love yourself, and let go of whatever other people think. Let’s talk.