How Your Beliefs Can Keep You Stuck

A belief is a powerful thing. What you believe about yourself can affect what you notice, how you feel, what you expect, and the choices you make.

Imagine someone who believes, “I’m not good enough.” When something goes wrong, that belief may jump in and say, “See? I knew I would fail.” When someone gives them a compliment, they may brush it aside or think the person doesn't really mean it. The belief can become a filter that keeps finding ways to prove itself.

This can happen with relationships too. Someone who believes, “People always leave me,” may become afraid to trust. They may worry when someone gets close, expect something bad to happen, or pull away before they can get hurt. Their belief can begin affecting the very relationships they want to feel safe in.

This is what we mean by a limiting belief. It is a belief that puts a limit on how you see yourself, other people, or what you believe is possible for your life.

Most people don't wake up one morning and decide to have these beliefs. They are usually formed through experiences, especially experiences in childhood or that were important to us. Over time, the belief can become so familiar that we stop questioning it.

This is one of the things I look for when I work with a client. I listen carefully to their words, and the way they describe their experiences. I look for the beliefs underneath the problem because changing the outside behavior can be difficult when the belief underneath it is still running the show.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) gives me tools to help uncover these patterns, and ask questions that can help my clients see them in a new way. Once you can see a belief clearly, you can begin to question whether it is still serving you.

You are allowed to grow beyond the beliefs you learned along the way. Sometimes the first step is simply discovering which beliefs have been quietly shaping your life.